At times the lessons you learn are so defined, harsh, you do take note and not just react to them. I am learning a few. Here are some of them:
1) Once two parents are no longer together, everything that goes wrong with the child, no matter how subtle, is automatically blamed on the opposite parent. Even the “normal” kid things that every parent/ parents would have to work through otherwise. However it is a huge cop-out to pass blame to the other parents influence.
2) Sex has amazing destructive abilities.
3) Narcissists will never admit wrong doing. It’s the nature of the beast.
4) Someone who married you can take advantage and manipulate you ruthlessly.
5) Its just money.
6) Dirty little party sluts will always be, so please don’t give your girls Daddy issues early on, they go on to, well you know. Thanks Lisa Mahaffee. ( And yes, I will continue repeating her name and still wish her all the worst. What kind of person hangs out with you and your kid one weekend and F’s your husband in the next room the next. I’m sure Dante described a location for you in his book.)
7) Bitterness isn’t always there, but it creeps in and stings harshly and then leaves again for a while.
8) How much people lie, without remorse.
9) Sometimes people show up in your, and save you (white horse, Prince Charming, flowers at work, hold you when you cry, friends and family think you have deserved this good for a long time and don’t care about the timing) style. (Thanks Jeff!)
10) Never spoil your children; they will expect the same of their spouses.
11)I am the girl in the relationship, so why the hell did I get the “if you hadn’t been working so much, I wouldn’t have cheated on you because you would have been spending more time with me” So, the lesson, fall in love with someone who values hard work, not resents it.
12) Pick your child’s father well; someday you too could be paying him child support.
13) When you don’t have enough money to feed your child, no worries, just go get a tattoo to remind you how much you love him, and then a new 8GIG Nano IPod to drown out the guilt and it will be ok.
15)It should take as much time and money to marry as to divorce, it would leave so much less room for the, “I would have told you before we got married about that prostate but you would have left me”
16) Never marry the guy your Dad says “please tell me you aren’t hanging around him” the first time he meets him or the one his parents say “you are the only thing that keeps him in line” You can only “keep someone in line", for so long. Free will prevails.
17) True happiness, and long marriages are so valued and celebrated, because they are rare.
