Something

It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.

-alan cohen


No person is your friend who demands your silence, or denies your right to grow.

-alice walker



I know, I know. More quotes.
Its not that I havn't written anything at all, I have alot. It's just that that may all get burned in a bon fire someday sooner than later I think.

Marriage has it's own internal language that is no one else's business, they wouldn't understand it anyway. If you have ever been married for any amount of time you know that.
You can point the blame in ether way you want, probably depending on who of us you are related to, but it will not take back time. The best thing we can do now is heal, and take care of Cole. The one thing I ask all friends and family; never, talk bad about Jason or I in front of Cole, ever. I will do the same respect. You may take it as a slight on us, but you will only hurt him. Keep that in mind.

Jason did what he did, for reasons I will never understand, but that, I do not have to live with. I do not want to be loved like that, if it is even called that. It is far to irreparable and painful. Also, me leaving does not mean that I wanted to all along, but some actions can't be taken back. When I think of that day and why I can't write down what happened, (saying it is one thing, people can forget and distance themselves from there own words) is because it is to gruesome, too crushing. Writing it down would make it more real.

Maybe someday I will try; then burn that too.